I Think of a Wedding Reception Like a Roller Coaster

I think of a wedding reception a lot like a roller coaster.

There are going to be highs. There are going to be moments when the energy comes down. Then we build it back up again.

That's how it's supposed to work.

I don't expect a reception to be at a ten from the second a couple walks into the room until the last song of the night. A wedding doesn't work that way.

You have introductions, first dances, speeches, dinner, dancing, cake cutting, dessert and everything else happening throughout the night. Every one of those moments changes the energy in the room.

The goal isn't to fight that.

It's knowing what to do with it.

I Like to Take Care of the Big Formalities Early

When I go over the reception timeline with a couple, I usually prefer to take care of the major formalities toward the beginning.

Introductions.

First dance.

Parent dances.

Speeches and toasts.

There's a simple reason for it.

Every time you leave something important for later, you're giving yourself another opportunity for the timeline to get delayed.

Weddings have a lot of moving parts. Dinner service can run behind. A speech can go longer than expected. Someone you need for a formality might disappear for a few minutes.

Things happen.

If we can take care of the important formalities early, that's one less thing we have to worry about later.

That doesn't mean every wedding has to follow the exact same timeline. I just want there to be a reason behind what we're doing and when we're doing it.

Then We Launch

Once those formalities are handled, I like to get people dancing.

I'm not looking at that first dance set thinking it needs to be the biggest moment of the night.

I'm trying to break the ice.

You have family, friends, different generations and sometimes completely different groups of people who may have never been in the same room before.

Let's get them involved.

Let's get people comfortable.

Let's start the party.

That's the launch.

Then the Energy Comes Down. That's Okay.

Eventually, dinner comes around and people sit down.

Later we might cut the cake. There might be a Viennese hour or another dessert moment.

Of course the energy changes.

I don't look at that and think we lost the party.

That's just where we are in the reception.

If I just had a room full of people dancing and now they're sitting down eating dinner, I expect the room to feel different.

That's where the roller coaster comparison really makes sense to me.

The entire ride can't be the biggest drop.

You climb. You drop. You turn. You get another climb. Then another big moment comes.

That's what makes the ride fun.

A wedding reception has that same kind of movement.

Then We Build It Back Up

When it's time to get back into dancing, I'm looking at the room again.

Who's ready?

What have people responded to?

What have we already played?

Where can I take them next?

I already know the couple's musical tastes because we've gone through all of that before the wedding.

That's my foundation.

But now I'm standing in the room with their guests, and the reception is actually happening.

That matters.

Sometimes I can build the energy back quickly. Sometimes I need to take a different route. Sometimes something I thought I would play later makes sense right now.

That's part of the fun for me.

I have a plan, but I'm not going to ignore what's happening in front of me just because I had something else in mind.

A Reception Has Peaks and Valleys

There can be several big moments throughout the night.

There are going to be valleys too.

I want both.

A valley doesn't mean something went wrong.

Dinner is part of the wedding. Cake cutting is part of the wedding. Dessert is part of the wedding. People talking to each other, grabbing a drink or taking a break for a few minutes is part of the wedding too.

Not every moment needs to be the biggest moment.

I'm thinking about how all of those pieces work together.

We prepare. We launch. We build. We hit a peak. We reset. Then we build again.

And every wedding is going to have a different curve because every room is different.

That's one of the things I still enjoy about doing this. You never really know exactly how the night is going to develop until you're in it.

I Want to Finish Strong

When we get into those last 20 or 30 minutes, I'm thinking about something different.

I want as many people as possible on the dance floor with my couple.

Their friends. Their families. Different generations. Everyone together.

At that point, I want the night to feel like it's going somewhere.

I don't want the reception to just run out of time because the clock says we're done.

I want it to have a finish.

One last run with everyone together.

Then we send them home, or to the after party, with a bang.

That's what I mean when I say a wedding reception reminds me of a roller coaster.

It doesn't need to stay at the same energy all night.

There are highs. There are valleys. There are moments when we let the room breathe and moments when we take it right back up.

For me, the fun is knowing where we are in that ride and figuring out where we're going next.

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DJ Raul C

New Jersey Wedding DJ & Reception Expert

I share more of my perspective on wedding receptions, music and the decisions behind the night here in The Reception.